Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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