32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
