It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
