There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
