did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
