FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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