I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
