Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
