But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
