butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
