I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
