Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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