i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
