It's Friday. Sex?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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