Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize