It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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