I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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