Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
