I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
