The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
