Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
im six kinds of drunk right now
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
