watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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