Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
