the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
