Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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