So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
