hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
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