i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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