I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
