mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
