had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
