oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
