I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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