your room smells of hookers.
And success
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
how does that bad decision feel?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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