absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
