this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
