I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
