can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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