A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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