I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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