Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
