so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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