i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
