Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
