Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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