So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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