I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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