Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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