I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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