You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
