Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
