do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
