I must be too annoying 4 u.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
