I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
