Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
