I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
