would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's official drugs can't kill me
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
