I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
