Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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