its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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