Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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